Confessional pregame

I'm not going to make it out of the first week alive. I'll have to hope my tribe pulls off wins, because I probably won't be able to make anything. And it will be hard to make friends because I chose an obscure webcomic character whose defining personality trait is bolting like a rabbit any time someone speaks to her. Or she shoots them in the face. Point is, social skills are not her strong suit. I'll see how I can play this though.

United Nations? Moles? The sea? Pirate treasure? Don't tell me this isn't important, Lana.

Ugh, these people. I say two words about my life and they go on about how hard it must have been. Be nice to the girl, she's had a hard life. Beautiful garden of roses. My life was fine until they showed up. Don't pretend like you know me. I'm just here for the prize money anyway. Maybe I can buy a boat and get back to the open sea.

"Beautiful Garden of Roses?" Can you fix the fucking Beautiful garden of roses damn cunt censoring?

Huh. Only Sh_t?

DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

Every time I play a Survivor game, the people I talk with in pregame always wind up on the other tribe. So this time, I thought I could fool the host. I wouldn't say anything about Jeremy and Lisbeth. If she doesn't know who I'm with, maybe JUST ONCE -- just once I wouldn't have to claw my way up from nothing.

But no. The hosts screw me again. You're enjoying this, aren't you?